Friday, January 4, 2008

Starting a new year

Well, 2008 is underway and I feel it is going to be a good year. I have decided to try and do this blog thing since everyone else seems to do it, plus it is a great way to keep family and friends up to date on our super size family.

I have officially decided that I am going to stay home for good and be a mommy, the only other thing I dreamed about as a child next to being a physician. I do not see it as quitting medical school...I have chosen to do something even more important. Quitting is giving up which I have not done. I very easily could finish, but what is the benefit if I do not want to work...just another year or so of debt?? I am such a different person now than the person I was when I started med school that it has lost its priority standing in my life. I have seven higher priorities now...of eternal consequence. I beleive God wants me home for many reasons, not all of which I understand yet. Sometimes I look back and think about how many obstacles I overcame while in school and wonder if God was telling me all along that he had changed my path...maybe I just was not listening. Having 4 operations, adopting 4 children, going through extensive infertility treatments and finally getting pregnant and having my beautiful twins and then to top it off with my brother being killed and my health taking a nose dive...whew!! What do you think...are these signs that I missed...was I following my own desires instead of God's?? I do not know, but I know I am following his plan now. The feelings of greif (I am actually greiving the loss of a dream) will subside as time goes by and I already realize how much joy I was missing before...I am relishing my moments now and watching my kids grow up has been so amazing.

My troubles with my health continue and since I do not have an official diagnosis YET (some have included possible MS, encephalopathy, Rheumatoid arthritis, peripheral neuromuscular hyperexcitability), and none of my treatments seem to have helped, I am just dealing with my symptoms as they come. We will see what the next year brings. God has been so good to us over the year that I really can not complain about some pain and discomfort.

I am currently working on trying to declutter and organize the house for the new year...we have so much JUNK!! Jonathan is going to be starting a job...oooh...he has been a stay at home dad now for a few years and has not worked outside the home since his injury in 1998. Since I will be home alone most of the day now I have to get organized or I will go insane...its alot easier to be disorganized when there are 2 people home most of the time. When you are alone you need all help you can get.

I have also decided to start homeschooling. I have been researching the option for about a year now and have decided to try it for a year. William will be starting kindegarten in the fall and Caity will be in third grade (well, she should be if she passes second-she is having some problems). It is going to be a difficult task with the other 4 running around the house.

Well, unfortunately I am exhausted from the meds I just took for the painful spasms I am having in my hip. I think I am going to have to hit the sac.

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