The end of the rainbow.

Today, saturday, we normally have soccer games but because of the rain they were cancelled. Instead we went to a model airplane show (my dad flies model planes) to benefit toys for tots.

Surprisingly the weather started out fine...warm and partly cloudy. All of a sudden we saw dark clouds moving in. We brought umbrellas so we were not worried. We had a few stray showers off and on and then we had a nice little downpour for about 20 minutes. After the clouds moved out we looked out over the field and saw a rainbow forming.

This was no ordinary rainbow. I have never in my life seen such a rainbow. It was right in the middle of the field, low to the ground and so close if i had run about 1/4 mile into the field I could have touched it. I have never seen the end of a rainbow, much less BOTH ends. End to end a perfectly formed rainbow.


What a symbol of God's glorious creation. What a wonderful reminder of the beauty and blessings that can come after a storm. As I think about the storms that I have come through and the ones I am currently in, I am reminded that God has always left a rainbow in its wake and will continue to do so as long as I trust in him.

Ahhh... the things kids say!

Sometimes my kids just tickle me with the things they say and two of them came up today so i thought i would share. I am compiling a list of cute things or words that the children have said through the years for my website but these were just too cute.

We were driving in the car today and William and his sister Caity were having a conversation about something. I could not hear all they were talking about but all of a sudden I heard, in a quiet voice (unusual for William), "hey Caity...did you know that boys are made of dog tails and girls are made of sugary things?" I just about died it was so cute.

Elijah has a thing about shoes. When he is tired he likes to take them off when he is in his car seat. He says "mommy shoes off please" and I take his shoes off. Then he says "mommy socks off please" and I take his socks off. Then he says "mommy feet off please." Every time he says that I just crack up. the first time he said, he could not understand why his feet did not come off. Now he knows it is a joke, it it still cracks me up.

They grow up so fast!!

For those of you who do not have children, it may be impossible to understand the immense feelings that come with having children. Those of you who have precious little ones will understand exactly how I feel. The joys are so numerous I can not even begin to count and they come everyday. There are also those times I feel so sad. Sad because maybe they are growing up and not needing me quite as much, sad because they are having problems with schoolwork and they are getting frustrated because they just don't get it, sad that one of them is having problems with a friend who is not being kind and maybe sad because they are being disciplined and learning a difficult lesson. But behind any of these emotions is love and it helps me understand (at least partly) the joys and sadness that God feels when he looks at us.

We had the pleasure of going camping a few weeks ago. It was FREEZING!! In the 30s at night, but we had fun. The kids had a blast running around in the woods and I had a great time snuggling with them in the tent and reading a couple of books. It was a great time to experience the beauty of God's creation together. We even got to take a field trip to Kerr Damn (ever the mind set of a homeschooler=). We even got to see a fox and a skunk that came up to our campfire the last night we were there.

As far as the growing and progressing...when you have this many children, keeping up with all the changes is difficult and so many things have happened recently I can not even remember them all (sadly) but here are a few recent changes...

Caity is progressing very quickly in gymnastics and is well on her way to getting to level 4 and becoming able to compete. I am so proud of her...she is becoming quite a young lady. My little Isabella can finally reach the pedals on her bike!!! A milstone for her. She has also finally passed 25 pounds and can wear even some size 3 jeans...yea, we love that force feeding!! She is growing up to be such a young lady. Elijah an Elsie are both potty training (Elijah much more than Elise...quite a surprise to me) and are even off of sippy cups. I think this makes me the saddest because they are really making the transition from baby to "kid". At least mine all still like to snuggle me (well, except William but I guess he doesn't count since he may be autistic). I do not know what I am going to do when one of them says "no mom I do not want to kiss you"...I think I might cry=(


Man I love my kids! Thank you Lord for blessing me!!

Everyday blessings

I love bedtime in our house. Although there is usually much protesting from a few, it is a great chance for Jonathan and I to spend quality time with each child as we tuck them in, say prayers, read books, sing songs and give cuddles. I love the way God gives us the little treasures in our everyday life that remind us of how wonderful he is and how much he loves us. No matter how tough the day is or how angry, stressed or anxious I may be at the end of the day, there always seems to be some little event that fills my heart with joy. I love to when I hear that little "I love you mommy" from Elsie, have Isabella reach up and rub my hair, listen to William tell me his favorite part of the day, have Nathaniel tell me some wild story of his, watch Caity's excitement as she tells me about her new gymnastics ability, get a soft little slobbery kiss from Adam or hear Elijah say "lay down with me mommy"...my heart just melts. These things always remind me how precious life is and how much I take for granted.

Country issues...

Watching the presidential address...it makes me so sad to see the country having trouble. I can not imagine the stress of the people who work on wallstreet and the people trying to clean up this freakin' mess the government has gotten us into. Notice I say GOVERNMENT...not democrats or republicans. I think this just shows us that is both parties are at fault. I really hope we can recover quickly from this. I pray that those with all of their savings trapped up in the stocks and such are kept financially safe. Please God...help our country through this quickly and give the leaders the vision to do what is right.

On to other news...

Yesterday when I went to get Elsie up from her nap...her hand was blue!!! She had put a tiny rubberband around her wrist and couldn't get it off. She could not feel her hand anymore and when I took it off she was in severe pain=( I felt so bad for her...I do not think she will do that anymore. She is so sweet I hate to see her cry...of course she manipulates me with that and uses it to her advantage...she is SO creative!

William went to see his developmental ped today. The last time we were there he had some evaluations done so we got the results. Basically the verdict is...we are not sure. He meets the criteria for autism in some areas but not in others, so he really got no diagnosis today...which I am ok with right now. She kept mentioning the possibility for ADD, oppositional defiant disorder, attachment disorder, etc. I was given a six page report telling me the results of his testing and the findings. It gave a laundary list of "special needs" that he has and accomadations the school is supposed to make for him but NO diagnosis. How can he need so many things but not have anything wrong? I guess the take away message is to watch and wait and see what happens. The only definative diagnosis he has at this point is anxiety disorder and insomnia. They said he also probably has a receptive language delay but needs to be tested by a speech therapist...yet another thing the school is supposed to do for him. So the saga with William continues.

He has only been in public school 3 weeks and I am already frustrated. I do not know if he is going to finish out the year there. He has already picked up negative behaviors and is WAY to tired by the end of the day. He really needs to be home with me. He is already doing his addition and subtraction facts and is learning how to count in school...hmmm...I do not think he is being stimulated enough....but call me crazy!

Caity is doing well...she is moving right along with her math and has almost perfected her handspring.

The rest of the kids are doing well...Elijah is sick...again...as per his usual twice monthly illness.

I am preparing to go to Beumont Texas to do disaster relief sooo... I spent the afternoon at the urgent care because I have had this lump on the side of my neck for like 3 months and wanted to have it checked before I leave town. The doctor said it was not an infection or anything and nothing to be worried about at this point. He said I would be safe to leave town for a while...so that makes me feel better. I really wish that it was not annoying me so much and that my face did not keep going numb...but oh well. At least my dizziness has improved...especially since I have to drive to Beumont.

Reflection

I have been thinking alot today about alot of things as I do so often and I am just continually in awe of how much God has blessed my life. My family has been through so many valleys and yet God always raises us up onto level ground or sometimes even higher...to the mountaintop.

Sometimes I get discouraged about all the appointments I have or all the housework that never seems to get done or all the exercise that I need that I can not seem to fit in...but then I remember where I have been and how far I have come and it all seems worth the struggle.

There are many times during the day where I am hurt because my husband does not understand me. There are times when my pain, muscle spasms, dizziness or problem of the day seem to slow me down...but if there is one thing I have learned through these last few years struggling with a chronic illness it is how important it is to spend time with my children...not making sure they are in the latest activities, experiencing some sort of culture, having playdates with the right friends, wearing the right clothes, having the latest toys or elaborate parties, dragging them around to all the places I want to go...but really treasuring the time I have with them...touching, talking, loving them. I wish every night that the day would never end and that I could spend more time with them.

In some ways I can not express what I feel on the inside...I guess that is true JOY...I can feel it exploding inside of me but can not express it in words or action...I know it is from the Lord because there is no earthy thing that could make me feel this way.

WOW...it has been a long time

I started this blog to keep people updated and I have really dropped the ball. Oh well...it has been a LONG summer. So many things have happened, I do not even know where to start.

Me-well, same old same old I guess. Nothing major has happened. I
have had a few flares of symptoms of my "unknown illness" because of the awful heat we have been having. Currently I am having some problems with my balance and dizziness and almost got into an accident 2 days ago because i got so dizzy behind the wheel. JOnathan wont let me drive now. I am also having blurry vision in my left eye (again). I guess it is back to the eye doctor. Otherwise my multiple meds seem to be controlling my other symptoms to a tolerable level. I have finally gotten back into exercising everyday...something I have not been able to do in a while. I was hoping it would make me feel better...more energy and everything, but so far I just feel more weak and tired instead of more energized...oh well, gotta give it time I guess.

Jonathan-having some problems with his leg (for those who do not know he has a spinal cord injury and is partially paralyzed). He had his annuel exam at the VA and got a prothesis to help him keep his foot from dragging and help him not trip so much. He quit his sales job and is currently looking for something new (he wasn't making much money anyway). It has been really nice having him home during the day though. I think otherwise he has been about the same.

Caity-My beautiful butterfly...we started homeschooling in July. I have to teach her year round because she forgets too much over the summer. I think this is going to be a really good year for her. She is doing much better with her focus and controlling some of her behaviors that stem from some of her mental health issues. We have been concentrating on math since she got so behind last year because of her probable learning disability in math. It is amazing that she is spelling and reading at almost the fifth grade level and her math skills are still at between first and second grade. Our primary goal this year is to even out her skills...hopefully we can accomplish that before her next testing in May.

She is continuing with her cheerleading and has now started gymnastics as well which she is truly enjoying and is really challenging her physically (and challenging us financially). She has met some new friends and has really made some progress learning how to control her impulsivity and being a team player.

I have been trying very hard to keep her off medication for her ADD, anxiety, depression, etc. And so far we have managed. We did finally start her on some medication to help with her sleep and I think it has been very benificial. It is amazing the difference in behavior when kids get enough sleep.

William-My intelligent athlete...doing great. Still going through his developmental testing to see if he needs any interventions. He does have a sleep disorder and is being treated for that. He was being homeschooled this summer and did well. He now knows his addition and subtraction facts to 20 and phonics as well as is spelling some words. He begged me to let him go to kindergarten and ride the bus and since I am really working hard to get Caity up to speed, I told him he could go. Now its 2 weeks in and I was a little shocked when he came home and is supposed to learn the ABC song...he is so beyond that. I can not believe there are kendergarteners who do not know their ABCs. My 2 year olds know their ABCs!! So basically school is just a chance for him to work on his social skills and have some fun...which I am OK with for now...we still work on extra skills at home.

He is having a great time playing soccer again and is the star of the team although he has trouble sharing the ball. He is also doing gymnastics now and can not get enough of it. I can truly see him being a gymnast one day. He is working on perfecting his cartwheel and balance beam routine.

Nathaniel-oh...my sweet child of extremes. Health wise...he has been doing great...no more problems from that pesky lymph node. He has bad allergies and is on several meds for that...we finally got all of those symptoms under control and the doctor said that his bad allergies were probably causing all his problems. We found a good combo of meds that works for him. Behavior wise...he (and I) are having issues. He is in therapy now to help us with some of his problems. They have not given us a diagnosis yet. The doctor thought he may have bipolar disorder but I do not think so. His therapist says most likely he has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) which is treated with behavior modification but can be very frustrating. He is a very sweet and loving boy but can be so trying at times. His therapist says his IQ is very high which could be the cause of some of his problems (too smart for his own good I guess).

I have not started schooling him yet. He is just not ready. We have been working on learning how to write his name and recognize letters but otherwise I just let him get out his energy as much as possible. He is also playing soccer again and is doing much better this year than last. He is much more confident this time and scored 4 goals in his first game. He was so proud!!

Isabella-My supreme princess. Has been doing well. She finally got to 23 pounds and was able to go off her supplements and drop back her GI and rehab visits to 2 times a year. GREAT!! We were so worried that she would end up with a Gtube. We finally had a visit where we did not have to discuss that as an option. She had a small bought of cellulitis and had hernia surgery which went great. Besides some mirilax every now and then she is on no meds. She is doing well and we are praising God for it.

She has learned her ABCs and numbers and is very interested in all things girly!! She has become quite brave physically and is doing more things with her body...I think her increased weight has finally helped her use her body more when she is playing. She is still very sensitive and screams all the time which drives me crazy!! She is desperate to take dance classes but we do not know if we can afford it right now.

Elsie-My headstrong diva. She is so beautiful and her speech is amazing but no-one knows that she can talk. She has some sort of selective mutism and only speaks at home alot of the time. Most of her sunday school teachers do not believe that she can talk. This little girl is so smart, we are going to be in trouble soon. She picks up info like a sponge. She loves to sing, dance and color beautiful pictures. She is a daredevil at play but still likes to be a girly girl. She is absoloutly obsessed with wearing dresses and fancy shoes...she always has shoes on and raids the shoe closet every morning. She even sleeps with them on!! She is already counting to 12, saying her ABCs and knows her shapes and colors. She has taken up the gymnast habits of some her older siblings and loves to do "slips (flips)" off the couch. She is healthy as a horse...definately taking after her father so she never seems to get sick. I am looking forward to watching her grow.

Elijah-The loving enforcer. He is so fun and has a great laugh. He goes around the house enforcing all the rules...lovingly at times...other times forcefully. His speech is coming along. He was supposed to have speech therapy but by the time I was able to get him an eval he was talking better so I did not get him set up for that. We have just been working on it with him at home. He has done really well following his surgeries and his ear tubes, along with allergy medicine has finally relieved alot of his ear and sinus infections and diarrhea (his allergies were even causing diarrhea-who knew=). He still gets sick alot but besides a small abcess on his foot from a boo-boo I do not think he has had any major illnesses this summer. He loves to play football, has learned to count to 3 and is just a wonderful snuggly boy who loves to give hugs and kisses.

Adam-Our little Godzilla. He is still with us and is moving toward reuniting with his parents. We call him Godzilla because he grabs everything he can get his hands on and snatches things away. Plus he is a little clumsy so he falls on top of things alot. He is a sweet boy and has made tremendous progress since his arrival. He is doing speech therapy now and can actually say some words now so he can communicate a little better with us. He is learning how to follow directions and we have been also doing a little "eating therapy"...working on using a fork, drinking from a cup, chewing food instead of swallowing whole, etc. He is doing very well physically. He is very active so he does get alot of injuries but otherwise he is very healthy. I hope when he goes back his parents really use this second chance to love a nurture this child. We do not know when he will go back...I am hoping he is home before the holidays so the family can be together. We pray that God will be with him and his family.

Well...to make a long story short...life has been pretty good these last few months. We are very busy between doctors, therapists, school, extracarricular activities, church and some other things thrown in there. I have some new pictures to post but right now I need to go to bed.